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Forums > Discussions > Post-Abortion Syndrome

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Topic: Questions...

Posted By LittleOne on 14 Nov 2010 06:19 PM
My abs (3 of them) were all long ago. But...I do recall that w/ the last ab dad, I felt a great disconnect w/ him, whereas before I felt very connected. It didn't help that for a long while I felt as if he were making every effort to push me away--unless it benefited him physically...& I'd oblige... I know this probably ISN'T the most popular thing to say considering the culture these days, but I found that the best thing for me in this area of life was to concentrate on myself & my relationship w/ God. My ab dads & I are not together anymore & haven't been for many yrs, but it was a wise move to leave. Neither one was willing to look at my hurt & pain over it all. Each one was too busy trying to focus on life as it related to themselves...Perhaps that was their attempts to numb out (PASS--men can become workaholics to take the focus off their pain), but I did my own version of it in other ways seeing as no one was willing to look at what was eating at me...I longed for that connection again after the abs. It didn't come. I think if there'd been some effort on either of their parts to show some feeling that way--to show they had regrets, show some concern for my well-being rather than try to push me aside...I don't know. This much I DO know: When my relationship w/ God was the focus in life, things started to improve, & they have remained so w/ Him as my focus. God can heal our sexuality also when it's been broken this way as only He can fix that God-sized hole in our hearts...Just ask Him about it. Just some thoughts...

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Topic Review

LittleOne

Member
Posts:116

14 Nov 2010 11:19 PM
My abs (3 of them) were all long ago. But...I do recall that w/ the last ab dad, I felt a great disconnect w/ him, whereas before I felt very connected. It didn't help that for a long while I felt as if he were making every effort to push me away--unless it benefited him physically...& I'd oblige... I know this probably ISN'T the most popular thing to say considering the culture these days, but I found that the best thing for me in this area of life was to concentrate on myself & my relationship w/ God. My ab dads & I are not together anymore & haven't been for many yrs, but it was a wise move to leave. Neither one was willing to look at my hurt & pain over it all. Each one was too busy trying to focus on life as it related to themselves...Perhaps that was their attempts to numb out (PASS--men can become workaholics to take the focus off their pain), but I did my own version of it in other ways seeing as no one was willing to look at what was eating at me...I longed for that connection again after the abs. It didn't come. I think if there'd been some effort on either of their parts to show some feeling that way--to show they had regrets, show some concern for my well-being rather than try to push me aside...I don't know. This much I DO know: When my relationship w/ God was the focus in life, things started to improve, & they have remained so w/ Him as my focus. God can heal our sexuality also when it's been broken this way as only He can fix that God-sized hole in our hearts...Just ask Him about it. Just some thoughts...

kate4106
Posts:258

09 Nov 2010 11:48 PM
Hi there, I feel exactly the same way. I have read that it's not terribly uncommon, however my girlfriend who had an abortion years ago feels the same way. I am thinking for myself that going to the doctor isn't a bad idea, because I don't want years to pass with feeling like it's impossible to feel anything in the bedroom department. I have never been a person who wants to seek help, but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. Sometimes lack of options dictates your choices, and if you feel speaking to someone would help, perhaps it's not a bad idea. All the best, I will be thinking of you. Let's hope we both get through this.

marieelena User is Offline

Member
Posts:33

24 Aug 2010 04:49 AM
Hi Jessca dont know if this helps.. after my abortion. i truly couldnt wait to have sex again with my sons dad.. so we did.. problem was i felt nothing.. got really good at faking it.. tried other guys still nothing.. it took more than 5 years for me to get any feelings again in that departmetn. and it only happened when i met my husband.. i thougth i would never enjoy sex again. if i were you i would jsut make sure there was tons of protection. you and him both.. cant hurt to be to much protected.. and give it time. try to relax an see how it goes. dont know if this is for eveyone but it was for me. come to the chats when you can i am sure there ae many women there who will know better than i do much love marieelena

jessca

New Member
Posts:1

12 Aug 2010 12:38 PM
Hi, I has an abortion about 9 months ago at a very early stage in my pregancy. Since the abortion I have a difficulties coming to terms with it and really struggled around the time the baby would have been due. Since that date i have really struggled to have sex with my boyfriend (the father). I panic at the thought of it and end up thinking about the abortion. I feel silly going to the doctor, so was wondering if anyone else had experienced anything like this??? Thanks

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