I was wondering if you have received the salvation of Christ after you had your abortion, do you still need the help of others? I had an abortion 34 years ago and still deal with things concerning that day. I have been thru counseling with my Pastor for years and feel I can't keep bringing up the subject of the abortion as I should be over it. I can't speak to my husband concerning what I'm going thru cause we don't have a very good marriage and he doesn't like to hear about it anymore. I can't even talk to him about our own children that was miscarried cause I am to be over that too. I just found out that what I have been dealing with all these years, they finally have given it a name, "Post Abortion Syndrome". Now I would like to talk to a professional counselor that deals with just that, Post Abortion Syndrome based on the word of God.Somedays, I just feel that I will never be fully healed from my wrong choice years ago. I always feel I do not have a voice or say in anything that concerns me. Please help!!!!!

Hi Shades
sorry this letter is so late in coming, but let me be the first one to welcome you the safehaven. i truly think God lets us find this place when He knows we cant do it alone anymore..
little bit of background on myself. My son Daniel has been gone now 38 years a bit longer than you. like you i had no idea that there was anything called post abortion syndrom.. i thought that the feelings i had were normal though for me becaue i had the abortion and didnt want it. i was 15 and my parents made the decission for me. The father of my child stood with me for a year or so after i had the abortion not our of love but our of guilt and each time i tried to talk to him about it or even if i started to cry he made me feel that it was something that i shouldnt do. needless to say in the last 38 years i havent cried. i am really good at hiding my feelings.
this place this safe haven is the only thing that helped me and without the counclers and the other women here who each felt as i did i tryly wouldnt be here i was that close to just ending it all so the pain would stop.
i am luckier than you though. i married a man and when he found out how ill i was mentally about having an abortion he never once turned from me. he let me yell and scream and he was the one who found counclers for me in my area. he was afraid that i was sucidal..nothing worked other than this place where i can say anthing i want in the chat rooms and there are at least a few women in there who have felt or do feel exactly like i do or did. so please come to the chat room. your husband who doesnt want to understand probaly doesnt know how to handle it. i had 3 miscarriages but they didnt hit me hard at all. i take full responisbility for the abortion regardless of the fact that it was not my idea. i signed the papers. but the miscarriages were jsut things that happen and not of my chosing.
the pain i am sorry to say for me has never gone away. i have forgiven myself with the help of my priest and the wonderful women here but the guilt of my actions that i still cant deal with. and here is the only place that i will ever say i had an abortion. learnt that lesson when i told someone who i thought was a close friend and she not only never spoke to me again she changed her phone number so i couldnt get in touch with her. so please beleive that those feeling you are feeling now aer normal. 34 years ago abortion was such an taboo subject somehting that one never ever spoke about to anyone that those of us that had one then are still living in that era. it does take time once you start counceling but it does get better. it wont go away but it does get easier to live with. as for your husband. he either cant or wont help you. so dont bother trying to get any help from him.. my husband once told me that he felt bad becasue he didnt have the right words to say to me being that he was the man and supposed to protect his family and there was nothing that he could do or say to make this better. the father of my son didnt even try which to this day i still find pathetic of him.
please if you have the chance go to the chat rooms at night or tell me a good time for you when you are free and we can met in a the chat room and talk as long as you like and talk about what ever you want to. beleive me there is nothing that you can say to me that i havent already though of myself. and the councilers here are wonderful if you go into a chat room at night. no one here will ever tell you what you are feeling is bad or wrong because we all have felt the same way.
much love
marieelena

Hi Marieelena, I thought nobody ever check this forum, so thank you for your reply. I thank you for your caring note. I have tried to get on the chat lines but never seem to get someone on with me. Not sure if I'm doing something wrong or not. Are you a counsellor with Safe Haven?

On August 6th of this year, it will be 35 years since my son died. I still mourn him but know that the healing of that day is a ongoing process.I just spent 8 weeks with two wonderful ladies at the Pregnancy Crisis Centre in a city near me. Every week I would go for two hour sessions and it has really helped me in areas that had not been healed. I am grateful for God that lead me to them and the release I have received from the sessions. Last week we gave Jepadias "Jed", a memorial. It was touching and let me release so much that I hadn't thought I was holding onto. I am now working on a scrapbook page in memory of him to add to the Centre's Memory Album. It is very emotionally hard to do but I know it will get done and bring even more healing to my heart and spirit.

If you can help me get onto the chat lines, I would like to talk with other ladies. Thank you again for your note and thank you for caring.

Hi
often times i go into the chat room and there isnt anyone there,. most nights its moderated but they go by a different time zone than id o so when i get there thinking i am right on time it is almost over. let me know when you would like to chat i will go into the room and hang out and wait for you. dont work so the time of day (eastern standard time) works for me.
no i am not a moderator but you and i seem to have so much in common that it would be my honor to talk to you.
much love
marieelena
ps i love your sons name btw

Shades of blue...It takes time to heal from PASS once confronted, but even more importantly, it takes God to heal from it. Trust Jehovah-Rapha (God My Healer). As hard as it is to deal w/ PASS, & there will be peaks & valleys, He will never leave you nor forsake you.

There were times in dealing w/ PASS that I felt like I was in the pit of despair, & I had suicidal thoughts...It felt comforting to know He was always there to help:

Praise to the God of All Comfort
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,[a] about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.


Know this: Jesus Christ is Your Advocate Who Intercedes for you...:

Romans 8:34
Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.


Romans 8 NIV
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8&version=NIV

1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.

31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Do you see that, hun? God Himself is FOR you! Who can be against you then?

From James 5:15-16 NIV
15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

We ALL have stumbled & fallen short of God's perfection, but He stands ready to purify us & reconcile us to Himself!

1 John 1:9 NIV
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 2 NIV
12 remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. 17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Go to Him, hun...He's waiting... ;-)

LO



LO