I believe that men do feel a sense of guilt and shame but they don"t know how to express it to their parnter so they sweep it under the rug and try to pretend that it didn't happen.  I want to think that they have to care deep down in their heart because it was a child that they created too. It doesn't excuse their behavior but I believe they build up walls and that's why they don't want to discuss it. When my husband and I were younger we did things the wrong way, we weren't ready to be parents, I was scared and I had an abortion and I didn't think it had effected him but years down the road he finally opened up and shared that it did effect him and he was feeling a sense of guilt and shame. The hardest thing is forgiving those who hurt you and I think in your healing process you are going to have to find it in your heart to forgive him for not understanding. God will take care of it. Just trust in him..