Hi ladies, I have tears streaming down my face right now. I just can't hold it in any longer! I am so thankful that I have found you! If only I had 10 years ago! I have this rush of relief like I can finally share my feelings with people that understand what I've gone through! I haven't talked to anyone about this in years!! I told my "best friend" and she shared it with some people wo told some people... so not only was I suffering immensely, I had an audience as well. This still haunts me to this day because I live in the same town with a lot of the same people. How does one go about healing from this? I truly in my heart don't believe that anyone can heal from this completely. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the decisions that I've made and the deep regret and depression that accompany an abortion. I have had 3. I have never said that before. I need to find some sort of peace because I know God has forgiven me, I just cannot forgive myself.

I have an 18month old little boy and he is my LIFE. I just look at him and knowing how deeply I love him to pieces, he is my fourth child and I will never know what my other babies were like. I sometimes don't even think that I deserve to be a mother with the decisions that I have made. I feel like sometimes I'm going to punished by God and something terrible is going to happen. I remember right after my son was born I never slept because I thought something was going to happen to him. I didn't deserve him, and He was going to take him back. I still have those thoughts from time to time.

I have never gotten counseling either because I was too ashamed. I don't even like the a-word, how could I get help when I couldn't even admit it to myself.

Hi 3angels
let me be the first to welcome you here. you are right this is exactly what it is. a complete SAFEHAVEN. the women here will never ever judge you. their is nothing here that you can say that we have already thought of or did. YOu are so right the hardest part of our lives is having to forgive ourselves.
God has led us all here when He knew that we couldnt handle this guilt by ourselves anymore.. this place and these people saved my life.
come to the chats when you get a chance. they are wonderful.
if no one gets back to you soon but i am sure they will, the moderators are really good about that. you can email me at marieelena1237@gmail.com i have made some of the best friends i have in the world here. they all understand me and never say they are tired of hearing me when i am having a bad day.
again welcome home!
much love
marieelena

hI again
on tuesday night i know there is a chat and merry is the moderator. she is so nice. if you can drop by and chat with her. the room times are posted on the chat room schedule.
marieelena

Dear 3angels,
Thank you for the honor of sharing your story with us and trusting us with your heart. I am so thankful that you have a beautiful son to love and adore. You are blessed. Check out the resource page for abortion recovery groups. It is well worth your time to join one. The Lord can do so much deep healing in your heart as you go through the 10 week Bible study course. The Lord will help you learn how to forgive yourself, it is possible, as we receive His forgiveness more and more every day. Like most difficult things in life, forgiving yourself is a choice. We can choose to release ourself from the guilt and shame the enemy has put on us after abortion. Jesus took all of our guilt and shame upon Himself when He died on the cross for all of our sins, even abortion. He loves you and you are precious in His sight. Pray about seeking help through the group therapy, it changed my life for the good and I know it will yours too.
You are loved and appreciated,
Doodlebug