I just found out I am pregnant and I am farther along then I thought I was. I am 2 months pregnant. I have to make a decision by the end of this week in either direction. I am leaning to an abortion.
I am 20, just started a full-time job, I am doing part time schooling, and volunteering.
I have spoken with friends and a counselor. I am still unsure but I feel an abortion is best at this time in my life and the situation I am in.
There is no way I could have the child and supply an adequate life. I am not financially or emotionally stable for such  a radical change. Adoption I dont feel would work...what if they get in with an inadequate family, and always knowing you have a child out there that you dont know would kill me.
I was raised in a Christian home but no longer classify myself as such. I dont feel I can talk with my mother as she is a very strong christian and I know her outlook on abortion. But I feel I need or want to speak with her beause I know she faced the same situation with me.
I know a child could be the best thing in life...but I am so not ready and it was such a mistake. I dont want my child to feel the same way I do and also up grow without a father.
At this point I think having the child of a guy I dont know to be more devistating and hurtful then to not have the child.
Either decision is a hard decsion and no matter what decision I do make I think I will always wonder if I made the right decision.
But I feel I need to stick with one and go with it.  and I think Abortion is that route. Beleiving my reasoning is entirely logical.
In turn I am excited about being pregnant...Just not at this point in time...Could God be punishing me for not being close to him and leading a life I do?

Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

Struggling.

Hey .. I know exactly what you are going through. I'm 22 and had an abortion last month. It was an extremly difficult decision. I work full time and go to school full time. It was probably the hardest decision ever, but i was fortunate enough to have my mother to lean on and cry to. Looking back, I don't regret my decision because I am not at all ready to be a mother. I just kept thinking to myself oh why couldn't this have happened to me in a few years, why now?? I spent a few sleepless nights thinking about what to do, I went back and fourth for days. The only advice I can give you is to truly think about it and just listen to what your heart says. Its your future so you should do what you feel is right for you. No matter the decision its going to be hard. Feel free to write back if you need any more advice or support. Hope I was of some help!

Rose

Hi Lisha,
FIrst (((Lisha))))
I know this must be weighing you mind and heart every hour you are awake.
It is not clear from your post how much information you have been gathering on all of the alternatives before you. How much do you know about fetal development? One of the resources listed on this page is www.justthefacts.org.
What do you know about abortion procedures and clinics? It is important to prepare yourself with information and some good questions to ask because, if you go to a clinic, they are not necessarily governed by the same regulations as hospitals. Are you familiar with the symptoms of Post Abortion Syndrome, a collection of symtoms that many women experience after undergoing abortion. Are you familiar with possible physical complications of abortion? And perhaps you are not aware that open adoption is a possibility, where you are able to select a family for your child and meet with them ahead of time.
I invite you to check out this website www.optionline.org where you can find a pregnancy resource center near you. It is a place where someone will sit down with you and offer you information about your options and talk with you. Pregnancy has already changed your life and is giving you cause to rethink your future. I assure you that pregnancy is not punishment from God. It may be an invitation from God for you to draw closer to him.
On a personal note, I have had an abortion years ago in my past. I have spent many hours over these last years on message boards and chat rooms with young women who have followed through with abortion. From my personal experience and from other women I know, I will say that what seems perfectly sensible and logical beforehand makes no sense at all afterward. Please do not be in rush to make an irrevocable decision that (no matter which choice is made) you will carry forward as long as you live.
Our prayers are with you, Lisha. Please know that you are always welcome here.
Mercy and grace,
Nancy

Well thank you all for you replys.

Its hard no matter what decision I make but I think I am leaning towards adoption of keeping it. After the father was told his first response was to immediatly come and visit, so he will be down this weekend to discuss our options.

I had investigated many options before my first post. However your immediate thought it abortion. I watch a clip from the silent scream, and felt after that, that it was scientific proof that I could not go through with it. When I am having doubts about abortion before I made the abosolute choice I think it would be best for me not to continue on that route. I have an abortion date set for Febauary 14th and believe I will be cancelling it. Although it would be extremely hard to give up my first child to someone for them to raise. I want the best for both of us. This seems to be it.  I still have a lot of time to decide if I indeed want adoption or I want to keep it and have 30 days after I give birth.  after reviewing baby pictures I realized I could not do it due to the innocent factor. They are just too adorable and too innocent not to support and help develop. Although it wont be easy and I will think about it. Its just another mountain in the road.  I am not dieing or ibeing faced with a life threatening illness its just a REALL REALLY hard decision.

But I think that is my decision that i will be having this child...where it will be raised if unknown but we will make it through. I did tell my mother and to my surprise she was very supportive, she actually guessed pregnancy but just in a joking manner...she was a little shocked when I said yes seriously lol.

So I think this is my decision thanks for the help and feel free to post and ask questions.

Thank you,

I'm having a baby!

Well thank you all for you replys.

Its hard no matter what decision I make but I think I am leaning towards adoption of keeping it. After the father was told his first response was to immediatly come and visit, so he will be down this weekend to discuss our options.

I had investigated many options before my first post. However your immediate thought it abortion. I watch a clip from the silent scream, and felt after that, that it was scientific proof that I could not go through with it. When I am having doubts about abortion before I made the abosolute choice I think it would be best for me not to continue on that route. I have an abortion date set for Febauary 14th and believe I will be cancelling it. Although it would be extremely hard to give up my first child to someone for them to raise. I want the best for both of us. This seems to be it.  I still have a lot of time to decide if I indeed want adoption or I want to keep it and have 30 days after I give birth.  after reviewing baby pictures I realized I could not do it due to the innocent factor. They are just too adorable and too innocent not to support and help develop. Although it wont be easy and I will think about it. Its just another mountain in the road.  I am not dieing or ibeing faced with a life threatening illness its just a REALL REALLY hard decision.

But I think that is my decision that i will be having this child...where it will be raised if unknown but we will make it through. I did tell my mother and to my surprise she was very supportive, she actually guessed pregnancy but just in a joking manner...she was a little shocked when I said yes seriously lol.

So I think this is my decision thanks for the help and feel free to post and ask questions.

Thank you,

I'm having a baby!

Hi I just happened to come by your post and at first felt heartache because I know the effects pf abortion I had one I wrote my story in the forum, but as I started reading more I felt such a relief in our decision to have the baby,

Hi Lisha,

I hope you still check this site from time to time. I understand you are going through a hard time. I am just going to tell you a little bit about how I grow up. My mother put me up for adoption when she was 22 years old. I was was in and out of foster homes all the time.  I was really hard. I have a older brother the foster care system does not let you stay together they spilt us up. My mother came looking for me when I was 18 teen years old. and I had a really hard time forgiving her for not being there for me. She said she missed me all the time. But was to afraid to confront me. We talk now but it was a really hard road and it still is just think about it

Mari,

I'm so sorry you had such a rough time.

I am currently a foster mom, and very close to finalizing adoption of our little girl. I realize that our system is a mess...a real mess. But there are good things about it too. Your situation, although not unusual, is not the normal.
_Swede

I would just like to let everyone know that my perfect son is 13 months yesterday. After thinking about Abortion, adoption and keeping him it has to be the best decision I made! Although its not easy as I am in full-time school and finances are limited I couldn't imagine it any other way...especially abortion! The pros totally outweigh the cons in this situation. The father spends limited time and nothing financial from him. My situation is tempoarary and will be graduating this year with my HR diploma and hopefully gain a job right after.

Thank you for you help and prayers. To think that Feb 14 2008 could have been my abortion date which was pushed on me by a womens help organization is just rediculous.

Thank God for my wonderful son!

Thank you for posting!  I am delighted to hear you are doing fine and have a beautiful son. What a beautiful encouragement you have provided for others who are in the midst of the struggle to make a decision.
His mercy and grace keep you and your boy forever and ever.
Nancy