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Welcome to SafeHaven's message board, our online peer support group. We invite you to post your questions, comments, and/or abortion/crisis pregnancy experiences. Our staff of volunteers is willing and eager to support and encourage you without judging or condemning. Please don't be afraid to reach out. If you don't wish to post, feel free to email us privately. 

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help, and advice please
Last Post 24 May 2010 02:24 AM by Nancy. 1 Replies.
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its_me_i_swearUser is Offline
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23 May 2010 02:42 AM  
my name is Trisha. im 20. i am at least a month and a half pregnant. im scared. here is my story....

i had been with my ex for a year and a half, and for some reason for got to take my birth control pill for too many days in a row... that has to be when this happened. we were being so careful, so we thought. we knew that a baby right now would not be the best idea. he is 21, im 20, we both are managers for mcdonalds, barely making enough to pay rent, and get gas into the car.
he broke up with me a month. i told him to take his things and leave the apartment. i am done with him treating me like i owe him. like he can do what ever he wants, when ever he wants, and get away with it. not to mention the hurtful things he would say to me, and walk away leaving my there crying. of course i was slow to realize all this, but once i did, i needed him to leave.

shortly after this, i got in touch with a good friend from high school. i have always had an intrest in him, and we are now currently dating. i see a relationship about to bloom.

i have told both men of my pregnancy.
my ex- has very mixed feelings, and is not able to make his mind up about anything. he is hellbent on trying to get me back with him. he isnt able to comprehend all the time, effort, love, and money raising a child would take. he is being selfish. im scared to continue my pregnancy with him acting the way he is, for fear that he will not be the man, or father i need him to be for myself, and for his child.

my new intrest is exeptionally supportive. he is willing to back me up, and stand by my side no matter which way i decide to go with this pregnancy.

i feel i am not ready mentally, or financially to take care a of baby. im so torn. it my own personal opinion that abortion is wrong. but i know in my heart that keeping this baby would be just as hard.
i dont want to be attached to my ex the way a baby would force me to be connected.

im so lost.
i feel an abortion would be best for me, and the father. we are both not ready for this. we would not be able to support a baby emotionally,and financially.

i could really use some advice.
NancyUser is Offline

24 May 2010 02:24 AM  
Hi Trisha! Congratulations.
Welcome to Safehaven. I am glad you have found us here.

Most of us, if not all of us, are scared when we learn we are pregnant for the first time. Pregnancy is a life changing event. Your life has already been changed.
I am struck by your statement, "im so torn. it my own personal opinion that abortion is wrong."
Trisha, when it is written on your heart that an action is wrong, performing the action will not erase or rewrite the words of your heart. Your decision here will mark the remainder of your living days.
With all that in mind, please know that you need not make a decision in haste, there is time. I encourage you to be informed and thoughtful. Because the consequences are lifelong, this is not a decision to be made on emotion alone. Also, be aware that the hormonal changes of early pregnancy can put a woman on an emotional roller coaster.
Here are my suggestions. Educate yourself on fetal development, abortion procedures, and post-abortion syndrome. Some of that info is readily available from the tabs on left side of the page. Talk this all over with someone emotionally outside of your situation. If no one trustworthy comes to mind, check out for a pregnancy resource center near you. The folks there will sit down with you for no charge and help you work out possibilities for your child.
Mercy and grace keep you Trisha,
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