I'm 39 and now 12 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I had only dated about 2 weeks when it happened. At first all was good. We were making plans and preparing, discussing about moving in together. We knew when we first started dating that we both wanted the same things from life and for our families. He has 3 other children, 14, 12 & 3, and is a widower, he just lost his wife not even a year ago then after her about 2 1/2 months went his newborn son. I have two children mine are basically grown, 16 & 11. His girls were slowly accepting the fact that we were dating but when we announced the pregnancy they took it rough but really came unglued with the moving intogether part. Now he doesn't even really speak to me because he is trying to deal with his daughters and personal issues. He says that he will be responsible for his part, although I have no idea what that means, as right now he feels that space is best for the current situation. I am at odds to know what to do. At first I was wanting this child and thinking it would be fine, I guess alot of that in part was I knew that I was going to be having help. Now I am not so sure how much help I will have. I, right now just make enough to cover expenses for the three of us and have a bit of extra but very little. Plus I am dealing with my kids and they are starting to regret the new addition to the family, partly in fear of the financial strain it will put on us. I know that I am limited to time for having an abortion, but I am no longer certain that I have the mental strength to go through this pregnancy. I know that God only gives us what we can handle. What is it that he is giving me, a child at this age or to go through with giving up a child.

Mystrigrrl,

Welcome Safe Haven. I regret my abortion. I was 16 in 1978. I have always had difficulties with Christmas. Before I had the abortion I was always in the season of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I still enjoy the birth and Christmas it is not the same because of the evil of what I did.

You are right, God only gives you what you can handle. God choose you perhaps to help this man to thrive again. The lost of a love one can cause grief everyone in the family and others as you can see. Another loss at this time could cause serious problems with everyone.

All of the children will be looking at you two for their structure in their lives. They are all at tender ages and I know that you would want them to make the right choices in life.

Money will always be an issue, it has for me. I raised three children and yes at times we needed food stamps. I will be praying for you and the whole family.

Patty