Hi I'm Sandy, when i was 20 i had and abortion and will regret it til the day i die. But now 7 years later, and married to the most wonderrful man in the world, we can't get pregnant. For the past 2years we have been trying to concieve with no luck. I can' help but blame myself for this because my husband has always want to be a father and i can't give him a child because of the big mistake i made in fear when i was young. I wish i could take it back and then i may be able to become a mother and give my husband the one thing he wants, a child.

Hi Sandy,

     Welcome to Safe Haven. I was 16 when I had my abortion. It took three years for me to become pregnant again.  Did you go in for a check up after the abortion?  I prayed a lot that God would give me at least one child. I have three and five grandbabies and the sixth one is due the end of August.

 

Patty

 

No i did not go to a check up after the abortion, I was too afraid and ashamed. I guess i should have but its too late now.

Sandy,

   I know it has been a long time since your abortion. Please go for that yearly thing that we all don't like and put your mind at ease. The guilt and shame is the hardest to get thru. Forgive yourself if you have not.

I hid in a bottle of alcohol and drugs. That didn't help either. It was 7 years after my abortion that I sought help. They thought I was nuts. The next 7 years, my brother was murdered. My Dad died during Psychology  and First Aid & CPR class., I was hospitalized for verbally going off. I knew on that day when I awoke in the crazy rooms that something was wrong. Within the hour I was at the Emergency room to see my Father,  he had died while I was being transported to the room. I prayed he saw judgement. One relief for me for  he has  met his maker. He and my mom made me have the abortion, they even took me out of state and paid for it. After dad's death  that is when I went looking for the answers to the way I feel. I was on antidepressants, going to health classes, counseling and Church.  The 7 years after that I went Manic (bipolar cause by the abortion as a teen). I am still cleaning this one up. That was 1999 I had been on Pamelor to sleep since. Within the next 7 years after that I stayed stable with addtional meds and weekly group.   That 7 year thing for me has always been hard to get thru. I use them as markers for the progress of living with the choice that were made and the consquences of those choices.

This has helped me over that last few years for the feeling of guilt.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"- and you forgave the guilt of my sin.  Psalm 32:5

Patty