26 yrs ago...

I was a teenager at the time...

My parents reaction?? "We'll have NO pregnant teenager living under our roof." My Mom & stepdad then got together with my boyfriend's parents and a decision was made for me. His parents gave my parents some money, I was taken to an out-of-state hospital for a "Check Up". Once there I was told what was going on, that this is what is best for "Everyone" involved.

The expereince was horrible. I could feel every painful moment of it. It was a Vaccuum type machine that emptied the contents of the uterus into a jar attached to the machine. This Jar is exposed and the nurse assisting made sure my head was turned towards it. Not exactly what I wanted to see.

Afterwards, the same nurse took her thumb, and pressed hard on my abdomin. It felt as though she pressed through to the bed. The pain was excruciating. She said it was to be sure there was nothing left inside.

That may be so, but I think she was simply trying to make sure I knew what I was doing and how wrong she believed I was.

After this was all said and done, I broke up with this Boyfriend (I was heartbroken). I just couldn't see him anymore. I moved from my Mom & stepdad's home in Illinois to my Dad's in Florida.

Emotionally, I was a wreck. For months, I carried a doll around with me everywhere I went. I named her Ashley. This is what I would have named my baby. I developed destructive behavior. If it was bad for me, I had to have it.

I got involved with a revolving door of Mr. Wrongs. One abusive relationship after another. I found drugs/marijuana made me feel good.

I made a conscience decision not to take birth control. I wanted another baby like you wouldn't believe. It didn't happen.

Then one day I gave up...

I gave it all up to Christ...

Things changed for me not long after that...

I began to feel at peace. I'm not sure if I'll ever fully get over it. But I have a peace/acceptance about things. I have rebuilt my relationship with my Mom & Stepdad(They are no longer together).

I met a wonderful man and married him. We've been married for 18 yrs. It took us three yrs and fertility pills but we have a beautiful 15yr old son.

Not too long ago, I heard from that Boyfriend. He is married and has 3 beautiful children. Curiosity was really getting to him. Since I had left, He had always wondered if maybe I hadn't gone through with it. He was wondering if maybe he had grown child out there in the world somewhere. I assured him he did not.

It was nice hearing from him. Knowing that he is ok and that he too has found a peace in Christ.

Thank you for allowing me to share. May God Bless You and Yours.

AshereJoy
(Hebrew for Blessed Joy)


Our Father in Heaven;

I lift these ladies up to you and ask that you wrap your arms of comfort, peace and forgiveness around them. Touch them Lord and let them know that you are there for them. In your heavenly and gracious name.

Amen

May the Lord honor you and bless you for sharing your story and your heart with us. May He also bring more healing to your heart each time you share.
Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.