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So Angry
Last Post 03 Aug 2011 05:13 AM by . 1 Replies.
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LetHerBeLightUser is Offline
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Posts:5

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01 Aug 2011 04:24 PM QuoteQuote ReplyReply  
Greetings to all, this is my first time and post, I appreciate the interest and ability to be heard. First allow me to say that abortions just don't "happen." Something went terribly wrong at a very young age to begin the seed of considering an abortion. I keep thinking there is an answer but you know, all I come up with is a stop sign. I have stop and really disect life to understand the enormity of what has happened. It started when I was an infant I cried and my mother could not stop me from crying so she hit me uncontrollably brusing me from head to toe. Years later my father losing control did the same at ten years old and I wasn't sure if I would live through that abuse. It was then I vowed never to have children. I did not want them growing up as I had, I was convinced I couldn't parent because my father blamed my mother for abusing me but he blamed her for his own abuse. (As if it were her fault for his abusing me.) I did not know nor I was I aware that they had aborted my brother when I was about 3 or 4. I didn't find this out until after I had gone through my abortion at 20. The weird part was whenever I was about to do something wrong or not good for me, I was usually warned or prompted by others or the church that I should not do it. But because my parents had aborted it was ingrained in me that it was somehow permissible and thats why the church or friends didn't get through, it was as if my own parents were giving me the green light to do it. Afterwards I was devastated! I could not believe what I was told, that my baby was just a bunch of cells! I wanted them to stop before they began but the Dr. said they couldn't- it would kill me. When I returned to tell my mother, "I just had an abortion." She answered "Oh me too." I was floored. Not only could I not believe what I hearing- because there was no warning from her as what not to do, to protect me from going through that nightmare or save her grandchild, but I could not grieve my child I was suddenly grieving my little brother. My father admitted he was the father of my mother's child (as I didn't know it was him until 2006) and the worst he can say about my abortion and losing his grandchild is "Oh well." He also says he would abort again. That is just the beginning of what has happened. So if anyone can offer any counsel on how to cope with parents who aborted, please leave a comment. I could use any help you have to offer. It's difficult to find any info on parents who aborted as it seems rare. Thank you and peace.
Doodlebug
Posts:367

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03 Aug 2011 05:13 AM EditEdit QuoteQuote ReplyReply  
Dear LetHerBeLight,
May the Lord bless you for sharing your heart and your story with us. I am grieving the loss of your brother and your baby with you. You are not alone, many have siblings that have been aborted. I have heard personal testimonies from women that shared that they even knew in their spirit that there was a family member missing, but were never told by their parents, until they confronted them with it. There are ministries that reach out to siblings of aborted children, one of them is:
http://www.extendedhope.com/2009/02/siblings-of-aborted-children_11.html
There is a helpline on this blog page for the link I gave you and maybe other resources too.
I pray the Lord brings healing to all of the trauma of your childhood and comfort to your heart as you go through this healing process, while He is holding your hand.
You are so loved and appreciated,
Nona


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