I am sick at heart. My son (late teens) and his girlfriend had an abortion today. I only knew about it b/c I kept telling my husband I was worried about our son. My husband finally blurted out the gf was pregnant and that's why son seemed so depressed. Son had told his father but didn't want me to know b/c he felt ashamed and also felt I would want them to keep the baby. (True.) Husband made me swear not to let son know I knew. Husband was/is not as conscience stricken as me. So for two weeks I've prayed for their hearts and minds to be changed while at the same time pretending I didn't know. I had hoped gf's mom would be in favor of keeping the baby. She wasn't. Today my son broke down sobbing and told me. He feels ashamed and grief stricken and angry and sad. I held him and told him I was so sorry, that he must not let this devastate him, that he and gf must console each other, grieve with each other. He loves her and he said it made him sick to see her sob afterwards. He said oddly enough, he wanted the baby more than gf did, feels he should have fought with her and her mom, to have taken a stand. I feel sick and ashamed, too. I should have spoken up. I am a coward.

Dear Temperance,
Thank you for the honor of sharing your story with us. I am grieving with you for the loss of your grandchild. It is sad and devastating when someone is forced or coerced into an abortion. There is help, healing and hope after abortion. We are all praying for you and your family. May the Lord Jesus give you and your son peace and comfort during this difficult time. Check out our resource page for abortion recovery groups. It is well worth your son's time to attend a recovery group, because there are many that reach out to the men as well as the women affected by abortion. There is also a Bible study book for him written by Linda Cochrane, I think it is called, "Healing for a Father's Heart after Abortion" Both parents have already made a close bond with the baby that was lost, although it usually affects the mother more so, especially physically. Most people don't even consider that the father's heart and soul would be affected but it always is. Men just handle heart issues differently than women. The most common result that I have seen in men is anger and extreme low self esteem, even self punishment for not being able to guard, protect and provide for their child. It sounds like your son may be experiencing some of this already. May the Lord bless you and be with you for being willing to seek help for your son. Maybe he would be willing for you to walk him through the Bible study, since your heart is affected also as the child's grandmother.
You are loved and appreciated,
Doodlebug