I took a pregnancy test July 22. My boyfriend already knew i might be prego. I told my mom about it on the 24th and on my birthday(the 25th)she maid me go take a class on abortion. On the 26th i had to go get an ultrasound to see how far along i was and to see if i could get an abortion cause my mom wouldn't let me keep it. that same day i found out i was 22.3 weeks and couldn't get a abortion here so i had to go to Colorado to get it done, that same day she maid me get on a plain. On the 27th I went in for the 1st appointment. On the 28th the 2nd appointment. and on the 29th the final appointment when they finally did the abortion. On the 30th i got to come back home.

I'm 17 and i feel like I'm a monster. I killed my baby, i didn't fight hard enough for him. My mother said i didn't get the choice of keeping my baby. and If my boyfriend would have fought for me and the baby she would charge him with statutory rape cause he's barley 18. My baby is gone he's really gone, and i wont get him back. I keep having nightmares about it. I keep remembering my baby already having a sents of humor in while still in me. All i keep thinking is what have i done, how can someone still love me after this. While i am pro choice it wasn't my choice.

Xeta,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and how awful your pain must be. You have gone through a very difficult ordeal which was against your wishes. Please ask God to help you to come to a place where you can forgive yourself, your mother and boyfriend. If you have a Bible Read Isaiah 43:25. -x-

No One Told Me I Could Cry: A Teen’s Guide to Hope and Healing After Abortion by Connie Nykiel

The above title might be helpful for you at this point in time of your life.

Just wanted you to know you are NOT alone...I know what it's like to feel like the support wasn't there for you...I know what it's like to be told: "I'll help you pay for the abortion...but if you decide to keep it? You're on your own..." To be told to "Get rid of it..." To feel the pressure to perform & not disappoint...To feel like you're being put between a rock & a hard place...To be made to choose between security...& your own flesh & blood...& my children lost...

But God is forgiving...:

Psalm 103 NIV 1984
1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 56:8
Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?

Psalm 25:7
Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD.

Isaiah 43:25
“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.

Micah 7:18-19 NIV 1984
18 Who is a God like you,
who pardons sin and forgives the transgression
of the remnant of his inheritance?
You do not stay angry forever
but delight to show mercy.
19 You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.


Hebrews 7:24-25 NIV1984
24 but because Jesus lives forever, he has a permanent priesthood. 25 Therefore he is able to save completely[a] those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

Romans 5:6-8 NIV1984
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Luke 15 NIV 1984
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+15&version=NIV

Audio Adrenaline: "Ocean Floor"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y281553XUAA&ob=av2e

i was 16. the father was 24. my mom did the same thing to me. left me with no choice. said she'd press rape charges..adoption wasnt an option.. and honestly, if i were you i would get help ASAP.. because its been 5 years since mine and im still seriously struggling. it wasnt really a choice that we got to make... its a trauma.. and i turned to drugs for a long time... now that im sober and a mother (got pregnant at 18 almost 19 and kept the baby.. and i dont regret that choice one bit) im just now trying to really deal with what happened.. so you should get help sooner rather than later and maybe you have better chance at learning how to cope with the pain