i had 3 abortions all in 18 months. the pain and guilt i feel is alomost unbearable. i feel like i should be severly punished, for acting so stupidly and letting it keep happening. how can i ever find forgiveness?

Thank you for sharing your pain. You are not alone!
It's difficult to realize when you are in the midst of such pain and grief that you are loved and forgiven by God, but it is true. Your pain is real. Your grief is real. Whatever your reasons for choosing abortion, the loss of a child is still overwhelming.
I would strongly urge you to find a place where you can get solid counseling about your abortions. At a lot of crisis pregnancy centers you can find that kind of help and most often it's free. Go to www.optionline.org to find a CPC near you. Also, look at the chat schedule and see if you can join in one evening and talk to one of the moderators here. Personally, this was a safe place to come and learn how to share my pain and to ultimately find hope and healing.

God loves you! You are NOT a bad person!

~Swede

I went thru two abortions myself, my first one was a 5 weeks 3days, after finding out it was not developing properly I had my first abortion. I felt so alone like i was not putting my trust in GOD and less than 3 months later i was pregnant, again. I didn't find out until i was 13 weeks, i was so happy and so upset at myself to have put myself in this situation only to decide to have an abortion, again. It was so difficult and still is. It's only been a month since it happened and i have realized that despite of it all GOD is still there for me. HE forgives us of all that we do, i distant myself from everyone only to find myself alone, mad and full of hurt. Trust in me when i say that it will okay. When you feel alone and mad and just angry at the world, that is when GOD is there for you waiting to call on HIM, because my friend, you will always have someone in HIM and will NEVER be alone! Keep your eyes to the sky. Lots of LOVE and PRAYERS

Ask the Lord for forgiveness and know that He is true and just and will do what He says He will do and that is cast that sin into a sea of forgetfulness. WE are the ones who find it hard to forgive ourselves and each other through the pain of abortion. Try to pray that the Lord helps you to receive His forgiveness in its fullest. We are human and He knows that. He knows that we are going to make mistakes before we even make them. And for the baby---know that he or she is with the Lord and being cared for until you reunite with he or she. Reuniting is possibly if you give your life to God and follow Him. Healing is only possible through Him. He loves us just like we love our children and if your child made this mistake would you not forgive them instantly and completely even though you know what they did was wrong? The Father loves us more perfectly than we could ever love in our human forms so He is able to understand and forgive more perfectly than we can even comprehend. Know this. Meditate on this day and night. When the enemy tries to throw your sin back into your face tell him to get behind you and then move forward into the Light of a new understanding of where the Lord wants to lead you. Sin is sin and He knows we are going to fall. But He walks with us ready to pick us back up on our feet as soon as we do. Just like a parent follows a small child who is learning to walk, they know that there will be falls while they are learning. They know they have to let them fall in order to walk well. The Lord is allowing us to learn to walk in the ways He knows we can, but all the while also knows there will be falls along the way. He wil pick you up and dust you off and still love you as you continue learning how to walk straight. I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I pray for your healing and for you to feel the presence of the Lord in your life and allow His peace to fill your heart as you deal with this loss.