I just had an abortion this past Saturday, and with each passing day the pain just gets mosr consuming. The only way i know how to describe it is that I feel like i'm turning hollow from the inside out. Like my chest is caving in cause my heart is gone. I feel like i made the biggest mistake of my life and my life will never be the same, what little bit of life i left. there are times when i feel like i dont deservve to be here anymore. If i feel this lost and consumed by grief now how can i make much longer like this. if only I had known the truth...if only my boyfriend and i were stronger...

(((monay))) I am sorry for your loss.
I have had an abortion. What you say "my life will never be the same" is true. However, I want to encourage you that it will not be like it is right now forever. An loss of this magnitude in your life will evoke a grieving process. If you have lost loved ones in your life before you may know what grief feels like. Sometimes in the midst of this pain we struggle to do normal things and care for ourselves. Please do follow the after care instructions to prevent infection and do have a follow-up appointment with a health care provider to verify that your physical healing has progressed properly.
There is hope and healing after abortion, love. I know I have lived it. Your life will not be the same but that does not mean it will be all bad. God forgives you.
If you can make it the the chat room here during a moderated time you may find this very helpful to know you are not alone.
Praying for you, nancy

It sounds harsh but your life never will be the same. Only a woman who has gone through the realities of abortion will understand this. We are tainted, hollow women but we can become whole again, it takes time and theres no rush or time limit.
Its been 3 years since mine, and I still can not think or imagen doing anything more soul destroying then this. Everytime something bad happens to me I feel instantly I deserve this like its only a little part of my punishment.
The 1st year is the worse, after that the pain becomes less, the wounds slowly start to heal.
3 years have gone sooo quickly but slowly all at once, I am not the person i was. I have far more compassion then I ever had before, loads more understanding of suffering and a greater respect for life and how quickly it can be taken away. Only us hollow women will ever get that, but we need to accept this, work through the grieving process and accept that to gain all this understnading, compassion and respect part of us had to die to.

We are all in the same boat, my experiences have led me to wanting to help others and given me a career in this.

We are all here if you need to talk, talking truly helps.

All my love, Kerry xx

Why when u agree to having an abortion no one tells you about the aftermath of one. I had one and i truly regret my decision. I did what i thought was a good decision , but 3 days later i have fallin to pieces . My heart hurts and im missing my baby. And i can't stop crying. The procedure itself was fine. It's the reality my baby gone and im the one that did it and i can't go back. Please help me!!!!!!!!

I think abortion is such a taboo subject no one talks about it, this is why many woman make the decision to go ahead with one no realising the effect it will have on them.
What hurts most is knowing that we've done something that is so final, so life changing and then theres the worry that it was for the wrong reasons.
My abortion was 3 and a half years ago and something I still think about alot, a month ago I completely broke down in front of my dad, he was so shocked to find that it still bothered me but then said something that really helped. All he said was
"whats the point of crying over something that cant be changed, your not helping the situation, whats done is done. Look at all you've achieved, look at all the things you would never have accomplished if you had made the other decision, im proud of you, be proud of yourself".
I hope this helps, but dont deny yourself the chance to grieve.

I am so sorry that you are going through this without your boyfriends support. I often feel even so many years later that my boyfriend who is now my husband just didn't face the same pain as I did. It wasn't until recently that I showed him images of fetal development at the stage when I had an abortion in my early 20's at 13 weeks. I think it was farther along, but was not told that by the clinic. When he finally saw what the baby actually looked like he made the first comment to me that showed he realized how I could regret my decision. He said if he had known that it looked like what the pictures looked like he would not have done it. i probably would not have either. But 20 years ago the internet was not around like it is now. Try to show your boyfriend images of fetal development--real ones, not drawings. Maybe this will bring it all to a reality for him like it did to my husband. I know even I didn't know how real this baby was in my body. I thought it was just a blob of cellular mass. As far as what to do to get through it. Ask the Lord for forgiveness and know that He is true and just and will do what He says He will do and that is cast that sin into a sea of forgetfulness. WE are the ones who find it hard to forgive ourselves and each other through the pain of abortion. Try to pray that the Lord helps you to receive His forgiveness in its fullest. We are human and He knows that. He knows that we are going to make mistakes before we even make them. And for the baby---know that he or she is with the Lord and being cared for until you reunite with he or she. Reuniting is possibly if you give your life to God and follow Him. Healing is only possible through Him. He loves us just like we love our children and if your child made this mistake would you not forgive them instantly and completely even though you know what they did was wrong? The Father loves us more perfectly than we could ever love in our human forms so He is able to understand and forgive more perfectly than we can even comprehend. Know this. Meditate on this day and night. When the enemy tries to throw your sin back into your face tell him to get behind you and then move forward into the Light of a new understanding of where the Lord wants to lead you. Sin is sin and He knows we are going to fall. But He walks with us ready to pick us back up on our feet as soon as we do. Just like a parent follows a small child who is learning to walk, they know that there will be falls while they are learning. They know they have to let them fall in order to walk well. The Lord is allowing us to learn to walk in the ways He knows we can, but all the while also knows there will be falls along the way. He wil pick you up and dust you off and still love you as you continue learning how to walk straight. I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I pray for your healing and for you to feel the presence of the Lord in your life and allow His peace to fill your heart as you deal with this loss.