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Forums > Discussions > Real Stories

Subject: Johnny Everett Gibson

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wheatie

Posts:2

09/05/2008 6:58 PM
Son, you would now be 36 years old. I love you so much. I was 16 years old and your daddy was 24. I loved your dad and I love you. He left us, no goodbye he just left. My family was ashamed of me. I was alone. I needed daddy so much. He just did not need us. No one asked me how I felt it was all just planned out for us. I was on a plane to New York and it was in New York that I left you.How I wish I would have fought harder for you, for me, for us. My parents instructed to never tell anyone or every talk about you. How could I ever forgive myself for leaving you in New York? I could'nt and I did'nt. To this day my broken heart has not healed. My husband of 32 years has no idea that this happened. I just never talked about it. I love you son, I wanted you. I'm sorry. You have 2 sisters I think you would adore. You were my one and only son. I never heard from your dad again. After all these years it feels like yesterday. I don't know if you daddy thinks of you or not. I hope he does. I hope he at least has sorrow. I recently found out what state he is in. I was going to call him and ask him why, why did he leave us? I did not do it. If he could not man up at 24, he probably has'nt at 61 either. I love you so muchand I want you here where you should be. Forever your Mama

BaByJ

Posts:9

09/08/2008 4:11 PM
What a beautiful honest letter....

wheatie

Posts:2

09/08/2008 6:21 PM
Thank you BaByj. This is the first letter I wrote to my son. I appreciate your kindness.....

seastar

Posts:2

11/09/2008 9:08 PM
That's a beautiful letter. My son would be 32 now had I not been so scared. The father was also very scared and almost left me. Our relationship of course did not last. I'm 51 now and I think as I get older, this terrible event continues to have a very deep impact on me. This month, November is when my son was conceived - I was just about to turn 18.

a123@ejourney.com User is Offline

Posts:1

11/17/2008 6:49 PM
Seastar, thank you for your kindness. I think, I am sure a part of me died that day. So many if's and I wonders. I wanted my son so much. It is just as real today as it was 36 years ago. Time is suppose to help heal, nothing has or will ever help me heal. I did feel better after I wrote that letter to my son. It was the first time I ever did that. If there is anyway he knows how much I loved him and wanted him I would at least have a little bit of peace.[I think]. I am sure November is a very hard month for you, you are in my thoughts, I wish you the best, wheatie

Colorado-lori User is Offline

Posts:60

11/20/2008 7:11 PM
(((wheatie))) Thank you for sharing your letter here on the message board. Many have been touched by your words, as have I. My daughter would have been 22 this past August. And, yes, there is hope and healing in Jesus. Sounds as if you may be ready to attend a healing group or possibly stop by chat (I'm there on Friday nights). Sharing is the beginning of your healing. Please check out the studies recommended here on the site. Hope to speak with you some time. God bless you and thank you for your courage to share.

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