Horrific termination > Message Boards | Post Abortion Pain | SafeHaven Ministries

Welcome to the SafeHaven Forums

Welcome to SafeHaven's message board. We invite you to post your questions, comments, and/or abortion/crisis pregnancy experiences. Our staff of volunteers is willing and eager to support and encourage you without judging or condemning.

SafeHaven is an online peer support group. We are here to support, encourage, and "be there" for each other. Those who have found healing are able to give hope to those who seek it. And for those of you who are in crisis, please don't be afraid to reach out. If you don't wish to post, feel free to email us privately.

SafeHaven is your community. Please use it. We care about you. You don't have to go through this alone.

YOU MUST REGISTER A USERNAME TO POST AND REPLY TO MESSAGES. YOU WILL FIND THE REGISTRATION LINK AT THE TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER OF THIS PAGE. ALSO, WHEN REGISTERING YOU WILL BE ASKED FOR YOUR FIRST AND LAST NAME. PLEASE UNDERSTAND, WE DO NOT NEED OR WANT THIS INFORMATION, YOU ARE WELCOME TO USE A NAME SUCH AS "JANE DOE" OR SOMETHING SIMILAR. IF YOU HAVE ANY DIFFICULTY OR QUESTIONS, PLEASE CONTACT US AT HELP@POSTABORTIONPAIN.COM.

IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY POSTING A MESSAGE AFTER REGISTERING, PLEASE EMAIL US AND WE WILL BE ABLE TO ASSIST YOU.

Click below to complete a confidential registration survey. Thank you!

SafeHaven Confidential Registration Survey

Unanswered Active Topics

Forums Search

Forums > Discussions > Real Stories

Subject: Horrific termination

Prev Next

You are not authorized to post a reply.

Author

Messages

Natasha

Posts:1

10/23/2007 7:04 AM
Hi everyone, My name is Natasha, I'm 37 years old next month and a South African. I have a precious daughter who will be 12 in January from my first marriage and have just terminated my long-awaited pregnancy. I was raised a Christian and have always been pro-life believing that terminations/abortions should only be necessary under extreme conditions such as rape & incest. Never in my life did I ever stop for one second and think I would be surfing the net for sites that offered advice pertaining to terminations. Just over two weeks ago I was excitedly using the net to find information on our baby’s development and looking for Italian babies names. There are so many clubs and associations that we, as humans, seek exclusive membership to but no-one hopes for membership to a bereavement organisation. How shallow I was before my world turned upside down! I terminated my pregnancy on the 4th October 2007. I had waited for 11 years for this miracle baby. There are no words to describe how ecstatic my family was when I fell pregnant! My partners parents are in their 70's and this was to be the first grandchild in his family. My gynaecologist never saw any problems whilst scanning me and despite me telling him I was 5 months pregnant, he kept on taking my dates back after my monthly consultation and telling me that, based on the size of our baby I was only 4 months pregnant. In South Africa doctors prefer woman to have an amniocentesis test done if you are over 35. As I fell into that age group and was considered a "higher risk" for my baby having Down's syndrome etc my gynae seemed emphatic that I needed to do this invasive test. Earlier in my pregnancy, at week 11 and week 12 I had started hemorrhaging so I wasn't prepared to take any chances with my baby. I opted instead to have the Triple Blood test. After a few days the results came back positive for Spina Bifida. My gynae assured me that his wife's blood test with both his daughters also returned positive and I shouldn't worry. I went to another gynae who scanned me the following day and that's when all the heartbreak started. My precious, unborn daughter had so many abnormalities that it was impossible to grasp the reality thereof. Her little head was abnormally shaped as only half of her brain had developed. As there was no cerebellum (that controls the bodies functioning) she would be severely retarded and handicapped. Her spine was damaged at the waist and yes there was spina bifida too. Her body was far too small for what it should have been so growth was stunted. At this stage I was already feeling her move inside my tummy and as we were having the sonar we could see her hands and legs moving about - it seemed impossible to believe. The gynae though was incredibly compassionate when he told us that the pregnancy was not "viable", he said "For once I pray that I am so wrong about this" The following day we went to the top Specialist in SA for fetal development. Again this Professor gave us the horrific news, and added to it that our baby girls heart was also not functioning correctly. Her left ventricle was "shutting down" and he very much doubted she would go to term. He told us that she would be paralyzed from the waist down if she survived the whole pregnancy and that if she wasn't stillborn then her heart would certainly not function for very much longer after birth. All of this is impossible to absorb when I do not smoke (have never actually held a cigarette) do not drink, have never touched drugs - don't even take a headache tablet most of the time. I am tall, healthy and always felt vital. I have no previous history of genetic disorders in my family and I have a perfect, healthy daughter already. What went wrong? After living 24 hours a day doing everything to the best of your ability to ensure a healthy baby, how does one suddenly accept that the baby in your stomach is not growing and developing the way it should? Why was my original gynae not able to

Nancy

Posts:59

10/23/2007 8:47 PM
((((((natasha)))))) I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story here with us.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. -Jesus

Nancy

Posts:59

10/25/2007 12:24 AM
[QUOTE]Natasha wrote . I am not angry with God, nor do I question my faith as I know God only makes perfect babies in his image. . [/QUOTE] I have been thinking about this today. I think sometimes our idea of perfect is not the same as God's idea of perfect.

You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. -Jesus

carla

Posts:36

10/26/2007 11:19 AM
Natasha, I send cyberhugs and prayers from us all here at SafeHaven. I encourage you to stay close to your Heavenly Father seeking Him in your healing and understanding. This must be a very difficult time for you, your husband and your family. A decision to have an abortion is seldom easy and the aftermath that follows is very painful, regardless of the reason the choice was made. Now isn't the time to debate the abortion choice. It is a time to grieve and allow the Lord to pour His amazing grace and love into your wounds and into your (and your family's) heart. I saw this quote: "A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is!" and knew that this is such a true statement. Take comfort Natasha that your Heavenly Father does understand and He hears your cries. ((((Natasha)))), Carla "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble", Psalm 46:1

Grace Jane User is Offline

Posts:1

06/26/2008 8:10 AM
Carla, your quote is simply "beautiful.." thank you. Natash..be still and know as hard as it is , you are not alone. I'm keeping you , your partner, your daughter and your "Angel Baby" in my heart and pryers. My little one will welocme here and keep her safe in God's care till we all meet again. You are a strong woman..who had an impossible decison to make.

You are not authorized to post a reply.

Forums > Discussions > Real Stories > Horrific termination

ActiveForums 3.7

Please take a moment to take our confidential survey!