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Welcome to the SafeHaven Forums
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Welcome to SafeHaven's message board. We invite you to post your questions, comments, and/or abortion/crisis pregnancy experiences. Our staff of volunteers is willing and eager to support and encourage you without judging or condemning.
SafeHaven is an online peer support group. We are here to support, encourage, and "be there" for each other. Those who have found healing are able to give hope to those who seek it. And for those of you who are in crisis, please don't be afraid to reach out. If you don't wish to post, feel free to email us privately.
SafeHaven is your community. Please use it. We care about you. You don't have to go through this alone.
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carla
Posts:36
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| 10/10/2007 12:59 PM |
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| Author |
Topic: Feeling Very Sad |
krissieC
New Member
Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Oct 2007
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 posted 10-02-2007 02:17 PM
I had an abortion slightly over 6 months ago. My baby sister was 10 days old when it happened (my dad remarried and had children later in life) and the abortion made it very difficult to bond with her. It was 2 weeks before my 18th birthday and only my boyfriend and his stepfather knew about it, thats still the case so I'd really find comfort in talking to someone as i haven't really been able to do so for 6 months. My boyfriend was supportive but never wanted the baby, i can't explain why i did it ive always wanted children and love my baby sister and brother (now 2 and a half) with all my heart. I know i could have offered that baby everything but still i chose to have an abortion. I took a tablet on the 28th March 2007 and went back to hospital on the 30th to wait for the 'misscarriage'. I stayed in hospital for 6 hours, all of which was spent with my beloved boyfriend. I felt i could keep things together but now my boyfriend has broken up with me, after 2 years he didnt feel we were good together anymore, so ive added stress. I loved that child and i really cant justify my abortion. I was forced to speak to a counsellour before i took the tablet as i was so upset but she made it worse, tried to persuade me to keep the child or give it up for adoption and somehow this made me want to proove her wrong - show her and the rest of the world that i could go through with it and be okay, well i was silly and im not okay and now im so alone. i cant even talk to my boyfriend as he is no longer that, i am so lost. All i want is my boyfriend and my baby back in my life. October the 30th (approximately)would have been the babies due date, its quickly approaching and im scared of it, scared of how Im going to feel. I feel very sad constantly and want this cloud to lift
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mom to 4
Member
Posts: 29
From:Georgia
Registered: May 2007
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 posted 10-03-2007 07:57 AM
First of all let me tell you that I am so glad that you found this website, there are wonderful women here who are here to support you, encourage you and help you find healing.
We all understand what you are going through, as we have been there ourselves, some are still in the midst of finding healing. I am so very sorry that you feel so alone, I understand exactly how that feels, I too had to bear this "secret" for a really long time. (19 years to be exact)
My prayer for you is that you will find healing sooner. Let me also tell you there is hope and you will get through this.
What I've learned is that each day God will give us more grace and more mercy to endure this pain and to finally be set free from it. Is there anyone you trust to talk to? Have you looked into counseling? Most crisis pregnancy centers offer counseling and support for you, this is the first step that I would recommend.
The first due date does seem to be very difficult for most, we will all pray for God to wrap his arms around you and keep you through it. Most every woman here regretted the choice that we made, I thought that I could pretend it never happend and go on with my life. (I to was 17)That is the lie of the enemy, and he will continue to make you believe that you will never be whole again, that you will never be forgiven, and that you cannot go on, and that you are so alone, but let me promise you all of those things are lies. There is forgivness, wholeness, and life again. Abortion is the most difficult and painful thing that I have ever experienced
but I'm still here by the grace of God, he loves us so much more than we will ever know or understand, he will be the source that will bring you through to the end.
I will be praying for you.
Come here anytime to talk, there is always someone who can offer some comfort.
cindy
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Hannah
SafeHaven Staff
Posts: 853
From:
Registered: Nov 2002
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 posted 10-04-2007 06:02 PM
((((krissie)))))
I am sorry to hear of your losses, your baby and your bf.
We are here to listen to you and be with you Krissie. I hope you are able to come to chat room some time
You may have very strong feelings on that day that would have been your due date. You will not be washed away in them. We are are here as a testament to that. By the grace of God we continue to live. His grace is sufficient for you.
We will pray for you and be here to listen you.
Nancy
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krissieC
New Member
Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted 10-06-2007 12:51 AM
Thank you to those who replied with support, it's really comforting yo know there's others feeling the same way as i do. I have considered counselling but I'm scared the person I see will be like the one who contributed to my decision of having an abortion. I couldnt sleep tonight, it's now 5.49am and I'm wide awake, I often have nights like this. Tonight the main cause of my pain is the loss of my relationship, which only magnifies the loss of my child.
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Nic
Member
Posts: 29
From:AUSTRALIA
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted 10-09-2007 02:46 AM
Hi Krissie, I'm sorry to hear of your losses...
I just want you to know that you've found a great place of support here at this site. I've had 2 abortions - on about 8 yrs ago & the other just about 1year ago... Please know that it does get 'easier' I know that it probably doesn't seem that way right now...
I've just been through a miscarriage - about 6 months ago & that was horrible so I know your feelings regarding that...
I too often wonder about what could have been & get angry for doing what I've done but I guess I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't chosen that path - that may sound selfish but it is the only way I can explain it.....
I do think that maybe some counselling might be of some value to you...I never done it but I came very close on a few occassions, I don't know what made me decide against it but it sounds as though you could do with someone to talk to - as well as us here....
Any how I'll stop rambling, if you need to chat you can email me on nict822003@yahoo.com.au anytime....Please know that I'll be praying for you...Hugs |
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isabellajames
Posts:4
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| 10/28/2007 10:29 AM |
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Hi Krissie,
Reading your story made me very sad but compassionate. I just had my first and last abortion five days ago, and like you, my 18th birthday is also in two weeks. I don't know why I did it either. I never tried to get pregnant, but when I found out I was, I was immediatley attatched to the baby and loved it right away. At first my boyfriend and I were going to keep it, but after a night out with his friends he called me up and literally threatened my life to get an abortion. I don't know why I was such a coward and allowed him to push me into doing something I am so against, We are still together, but my sorrow and grief just push us further and further apart because he is so detatched from me and the whole situation. I'm so sorry for you and your situation. I'm sure that in your case as well as mine that the pain will fade as time goes by, but never completely disappear. I hope that you and everyone else can find peace. :( |
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love.amber
Posts:4
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| 10/26/2008 10:34 AM |
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hi krissieC,
when i read your thread my heart sank as i too went through the exact situation as you. i had an abortion 10months ago and also lost my bf not too long after. i know the pain you are going through and i just want to let you know that eventually things do get easier. i talked to a very select number of friends about my situation and luckily enough they were there for me to encourage me and help me through the hard time. i also made a decision to better my life as i didn't want my abortion to have been in vain...
this time last year was when i found out i was pregnant so im also going through a bit of a hard time also. there are many nights that i can't sleep also, just the other night i was awake until 7am! luckily enough i have found this website and have even chatted to a few others who have gone through the situation and it has really helped as we've been able to give each other support and say that it's ok to grieve.
i've been able to talk to one counselor who's advised that i name my child (which i did from the beginning....her name is amber) and write her a letter saying how i came about my decision and how i am feeling and how much i miss her. the counselor advised that i don't show anyone but instead to place it in my bottom draw and it should help with the healing process. i hope that this will help with you also.
i wish you all the best =) i do hope that you find peace, i'm certain that our children understand why we came about our decision but love us unconditionally regardless....take care and god bless x
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